Romantic Love vs Gods Love

Quick Answer

Short answer: Romantic love in our culture is often described as falling in and out of feeling, stirred by attraction and by what is received. Gods love in Scripture is agape, a settled choice rooted in His character that gives without condition. Beloved, let us love one another, for love is of God in 1 John 4:7 and 8, and faith works by love in Galatians 5:6.

Many couples enter marriage on the energy of romantic love and then feel confused when that energy dips under pressure. Messages around us picture love as a small figure who shoots arrows to make people fall in love and fall out again, as if love were an accident that arrives and then leaves. Scripture presents a different form. Gods love is the same yesterday, today and forever in its source, for God is love, and it can be learned, chosen and lived even when feeling is thin.

This guide compares the two forms, draws on the pastoral teaching of Andrew Wommack on unconditional love, and shows how Gods kind of love takes shape in marriage and in daily relationships.

Two kinds of love

Romantic love as commonly portrayed is motivated by emotion and by the senses. It rises when attraction is strong and it falls when disappointment comes. It keeps a record of what was received and measures future giving by past return. Because it is moved from outside, it cannot remain steady when circumstances change.

Gods love is described in opposite terms. God loves us because God is love, not because we are lovely. Romans 5:8 says God commended His love towards us in that while we were yet sinners Christ died for us. That timing shows the nature of the love. It was given before repentance, before worth and before return. It does not wait until we are worth it and it does not withdraw when we fail. Believers are told that love is part of the fruit of the Spirit in Galatians 5:22, and that new life in Christ has shed love abroad in the heart, yet feelings still follow older training until they are brought under the spirit.

Why Gods love can be learned

Titus 2:4 says older women are to teach younger women to love their husbands and to love their children. The verse treats love as taught, not as a sudden arrival that cannot be helped. Matthew 5:44 goes further and commands love for enemies. A command assumes choice. God would not command what cannot be chosen.

Andrew Wommack puts the pastoral point plainly in his series Gods Kind of Love: carnal love is motivated from outside, so it comes and goes, while Gods love flows from the new spirit and can be chosen by faith until feeling follows. It is not hypocrisy to act in love when feeling is flat, for the true self in Christ already carries that love. It would be contrary to act on old feeling instead of on who we are in Him.

The breadth of this love is presented in Ephesians 3:14 to 19. Paul prays that believers, strengthened in the inner man, may be able to comprehend what is the breadth and length and depth and height and to know the love of Christ which passes knowledge, that they might be filled with all the fulness of God. The picture is multi-dimensional, not single plane. Growth in revelation touches feeling, choice and practice together.

How it reshapes marriage

Ephesians 5:22 to 33 sets marriage within this kind of love. The passage does not treat marriage as a contract that lasts while advantage remains, it treats it as a covenant that mirrors the steady giving of Christ. In counsel with many couples, Andrew Wommack notes that believers often extend Gods love to friends and strangers yet return to old carnal love at home. The same unconditional choice is needed there first.

Practical shape follows. Unconditional love does not base response on what the other deserves at the moment. Justice would demand repayment for each fault, but marriage cannot live on justice alone. Mercy is the needed measure for those who see each other at their worst. Conditional love used as a lever, where fear of outburst keeps a partner in line, builds torment rather than trust, for fear hath torment in 1 John 4:18, and resentment follows.

Choice works like this. Make a decision based on what God said about love, act on it in faith in small consistent ways, and let feeling be retrained over time. Speak truth without contempt, keep self empty of scorekeeping, and maintain fellowship even when hurt is fresh. The steady choice, not the spike of feeling, carries the relationship through winter into spring.

When faith feels weak

Galatians 5:6 says faith works by love, which means love is the driving force behind faith. Remove love and faith ceases to be what it should be. Many believers try to force belief when the deeper need is a fresh revelation of how God loves them. First Corinthians 13:13 places love as the greatest of faith, hope and love for this reason.

The most common block, as Wommack teaches, is the quiet lie that Gods love depends on performance. Religion ties love to worth, and the heart then condemns itself whenever performance drops. Scripture corrects the order. Knowing God produces keeping His Word in the life, not the other way round. As 1 John 4:7 and 8 says, everyone that loveth is born of God and knoweth God, while he that loveth not knoweth not God, for God is love. Love flows from knowledge of Him, not from self effort to earn Him.

When Gods unconditional love becomes real, two things change at once. Fear lessens, and love for others becomes possible without strain. The world knows disciples by love for one another in John 13:35, and the early church drew the known world in a generation through that love even without modern means. That pattern still holds for homes, friendships and work today.

A next step

1. Name the current measure

Ask whether your love for one near person this week has been measured by what was received. Name one moment when it rose or fell with feeling.

2. Choose one act of agape today

Select one small, costly kindness that does not depend on return, such as a word of thanks, a quiet help or a patient reply. Do it as unto Christ and note the cost.

3. Receive before you give

Read Ephesians 3:14 to 19 slowly and ask to comprehend breadth and length and depth and height again. Let the prayer shape receiving before striving.

If this area feels tangled, you can ask Paul the Apostle in the app how love that is unconditional takes shape in your specific situation. The reply will keep Scripture first and remain brief enough to act upon with care.

Sources and further study

This guide is informed by Scripture and by pastoral teaching on Gods unconditional love, including Andrew Wommack: Gods Kind of Love, Gods Kind of Love in Marriage, As I Have Loved You, and Gods Love: Unchanging, Unending, Unconditional, available at awmi.net. All doctrinal claims above are measured against Scripture alone, with awmi material used as pastoral illustration rather than governing authority.

FAQ

What is the difference between romantic love and Gods love? Romantic love is stirred by feeling and by what is received, while Gods love is agape, a choice rooted in His character that gives without condition.

Can I learn to love with Gods love when I do not feel it? Yes. Titus 2:4 presents love as taught and 1 John 4:7 to 8 presents it as born of God. Feelings follow choice rather than lead it.

Does unconditional love mean accepting all behaviour? No. Gods love accepts the person while calling for holiness. Love sets clear bounds and keeps fellowship within truth.

Why does faith feel weak when love is thin? Galatians 5:6 says faith works by love. When love is dim, faith loses its drive. A fresh revelation of Gods love steadies faith.

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